Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
