Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Just high enough for therapy.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
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