i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
A bitchslap is in order.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Randomize
