I love black thongs
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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