So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I hate all girls vehemently.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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