no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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