it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
is that a dick in a sweater?
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