ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
