you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
