if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Randomize
