Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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