it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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