Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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