i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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