and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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