i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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