I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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