this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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