All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
