He had one of those small greek statue penises
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
