Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
mondays should just be called national damage control day
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
