i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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