we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
