you mean i was at the winter classic?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
