hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
