I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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