it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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