Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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