Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
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My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
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Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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