I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I need to align my fucking chakras
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
