pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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