I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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