So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
