i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
