I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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