Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
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