he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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