oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
