Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize