I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
