doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
