I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
