I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
