And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
