i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
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