Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
