We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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