can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
