I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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