This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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