Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
