this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
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I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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