she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
