The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
