This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Randomize
