so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
