So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
They have beer where we have blood.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
