When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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